Good Mother Vs Bad Mother
Motherhood is an emotion which if cherished and treasured from heart will last even beyond the physical life and a lifetime will feel to be very less time to embrace it completely. It has a rainbow of emotions to sail through. When we talk about being a mother, it brings a lot of fond, happy, cherishable, sweet, loving moments along with it where you live each and every feeling either fleeting or stable with equal joy and excitement but motherhood is equally a huge responsibility which needs to be handled very carefully. There’s a fine line between a good mother and a bad mother.
You must be wondering about how can be a mother termed as good or bad because mothers are always good! Very true , but when as a mother you tend to neglect certain things and go overboard with certain other things then she, as per society standards, can be categorized as good or bad. Lets start it by citing an example. A mother is aware about his son’s tit bit stealing habits like it starts with a pencil/sharpener he brings of his classmate without asking him, but the mother ignores his habits and never encourage him to ask for anyone’s permission before taking their things and the same grown up boy is behind the bars for looting a bank some years later! Do you think the mother can be termed as a good mother! Certainly not because we have put the social and moral responsibility on mother’s fragile shoulders to make the child a good human being as well as a socially acceptable and a morally competent citizen.
Lets start afresh. Mother is said to be the first and foremost teacher of the child in his initial years where the child gets to spend most of his time with his mother and the mother gets to know the real qualities of the child however good or bad, also she has enough time to mould the child as she wants. These are said to be “MAKE OR BREAK” years of a child’s life. A mother is the first one to enable the child to understand his role in his family, his vicinity, his school/college and in his country. Only a mother can lay the foundation of a morally strong, culturally adaptable and spiritually high human being. So since the mother is loaded with so much responsibility, she must always be observant and vigilant of her child’s behaviour. Mother’s love is blind- this statement has been found true in 99% of cases in the past where a mother knows the mistakes and Grey areas of her child but still chooses to believe him that he’s innocent which sometimes results in disasters in the child’s future. I am not against to support your child in the distress as the mother is the unshakable support a child looks up to when in problem but knowing and supporting in case the child has chosen the wrong path is not being his true mother et all. A mother at every cost would want his kid to grow to be a man of virtues and principles but when the mother ignores the value part in his child’s upbringing, she’s doing a crime unintentionally.
Every mother loves her children but the love should not cross the thin line of moral ethics and our cultural values. a child’s upbringing should reflect the goodness of his character and behavior as well other than his strong body or sharp mind. Like a strong foundation is required for a building to last long, likewise the foundation of a complete human being starts from his home itself. Have you ever introspected yourself, have you ever done question answer session with you, have you ever rated yourself as a mother, if not, do it now!
I am listing a few examples of what can be done if in case you want a culturally rich and morally respectable child, needless to say, every mother wants this:-
a) Great adapters:- kids are great actors and good at learning at new things easily so as a mother one should always try to speak truth however consequences so that the child follows you because at any cost he will.
b)Telling a lie no mama:- Tell your kids to never lie however harsh or bad the truth is because for hiding a single lie, they have to tell many a lies and always have to remember what lie they had told. But if they say truth, it always remain truth. Make them understand by citing some examples from your own childhood.
c) Accept your mistakes:- Acceptance is the key to make a lasting impression on your kid’s mind, acknowledge your mistakes if any you have committed.
d) Never tell your kids to make excuses to others on your behalf:- Some people are in the habit of telling their kids to tell lies or make excuses like momma is not at home etc. Please ensure you don’t follow the format otherwise kids learn from experiences much faster.
e) Never lie over phone or texts:- some people lie over phone and texts just to avoid some work or extend their pleasure time. So next time, someone calls you up who you don’t wish to answer, put your phone on silent or reject call with the busy message but please dont lie.
f) No personal discussions:- Don’t discuss your couple issues in front of your kids unless you want them to confuse as to who’s liar and who’s not or who’s at fault? Its your life as a couple and should keep it within you.
g) No office discussions:- You should not discuss your official matters in front of your kids as bitching and abusing is the most sincere form of discussion behind someone’s back who’s criticized about.
h) Don’t spoon-feed kids:- Never ever say anything negative about anyone who has not been good to you. It will hamper the child’s individual decision making power as to who’s honest and true n who’s not. Never pre-condition their innocents minds and hearts against something or someone.
i) Story time- It seems ages has gone by since bed time moral stories were a ritual in most of households now the kids are put to sleep early to adjust their school and self office timings. Read high morale stories to your kids with a teaching in the end.
j) Confession time:- Confess your mistakes which you made as a child in front of your kids and tell them how your parents rewarded and praised you and how it helped you to grow as a good human being.
k) Let them learn difference:-Make sure your child differentiate between good and bad by citing examples of his surroundings and known people. Tell them the whole situation and let them decide.
l)Never offer any incentive:- Some parents have this habit of offering incentives in the form of chocolates or outings or video games which discourages the character building in kids as they start eyeing a benefit to do some good or honest work. That also means that anyone can lure them in to something bad just by offering a benefit.
m) Let them explore:- Honesty has different meanings for different people, let your kids discover the path to their honesty, help them explore and let them grow on their own as individual identities not an extension of your own personalities.
n) Don’t appreciate their bad habits:- If in case you find that your child has started telling you lies or is lifting things of his fellows without asking, you should immediately take action in the form as may be suitable to you. The first time can be handled by making him understand the consequences and if he again repeats the mistake, take strict action.
o)Respect elders:- The child should be taught to respect the elders like his own grandparents and elders in vicinity too and should be made to spend time with them.
p)Respect opposite gender:- Some children has this habit of underestimating or looking down females however they may be their sisters or their class fellows. A child should be made clear that both the sexes are incomplete without each other and should be respected for their qualities. Such males will further create a world-ful of equality and respect for their partners.The most common reason of dowry and divorce cases is that the males don’t respect their better halfs and objectify them or mistreat them in the name of being superior.
I am pretty sure these few principles if applied in our general life will bring a positive note to our country and our relations and will glorify motherhood more and more for the new breed moms like me and live our motherhood to qualify all the challenges we face in between.
Thank you and gratitude for sparing your precious time for reading my blog. Appreciation can sometimes change lives so keep appreciating and loving us.
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