Awwww…..Gudiya! Kitni badi ho gayi hai. Itni si thi jab yahan se gayi thi. Hum to tum sab ko bahut yaad karte the.
I met Kaku bhaiya after 20 years in Amritsar, Punjab when I visited my city. Though I have been visiting the place off and on those 20 years but didn’t get the chance to visit my old house where we once lived with our paternal grandparents, Taya ji, Tayi ji and their two boys.
We were a big family of grandparents, two brothers, four sisters and their respective families. My grandmother always wanted to have a girl child in her family. Please don’t misunderstand! It’s not because of the reason that she loved girls but because she already had three grandsons from her sons’ , two from Taya ji and my elder brother, that she was afraid that people will curse them with their “buri Nazar”. So that, in order to protect them from evil eye, she wanted to have a girl in her family. She even kept fasts, made my mother meet many pandit ji’s, made her eat many medicines to ensure a girl child. In early 1980’s she even promised ” Mata Rani” that she will deck her with new clothes and ornaments if she blesses her bahu with a girl child. Such was her love and possession for her grandsons!
Anyhow, I was born and she was on cloud nine. Her “manaats” have become a blessing for her. She arranged one big bhandara and jagrata to bless me. People were praising her like anything because she adored her little grand daughter like anything.
I was this cute little naughty girl who would chatter all day till night, the apple of my parents’ eyes. I was like a pink bundle of flesh as if some magician has put soul inside a barbie doll. Those were days when our mothers had no gadgets like washing machines, mixer grinders etc so every household work had to be done by hands only including washing of wheat, drying and getting it grind from the local chakkiwala. So after feeding us and just to get some rest, our mother’s would often send us to neighbor’s house for playing.
My elder brother was friends with Kaku Bhaiya because they were same age. He had an elder brother and a young sister. The elder one would sit with his father in their family business of clothes in Amritsar main bazaar and the young sister was hardly one year old when i was born, so in a way, we were destined to become friends. When i was about two years, i too started going to their home for afternoon playing along with my brother as i would wail uninterrupted if i would see him going out without me so my mom surrendered to my whims. We would go to their third floor to play as both the Ist and IInd floors were occupied with their grandparents and themselves respectively. We four would play all afternoon till our moms would drag us back to our homes.
Kaku bhaiya would love me more than my own brother. he would always hold my arms while going from one floor to another. He would help me climb walls of adjacent houses. He would pacify me if i cried so i loved and trusted him more than i did my own brother. So, i was very happy when i met him and we chatted and laughed reminiscing our good old days of our childhood. He asked me if i wanted to revisit our place of mischief, our den. And i said, yes!
We were climbing stairs and Kaku Bhaiya was walking behind me. I suddenly felt a hand between my legs caressing my thighs about to touch my vagina. I was shocked. I looked back and saw a very normal Kaku bhaiya. I then thought it might have happened by mistake. Shrugging the thought, I stared climbing again. Hardly two steps later, I felt the same touch again. This time I was sure that it was Kaku Bhaiya. With a sharp jerk, I looked back and saw Kaku bhaiya having a crooked grin. I was shivering with anger.
“ Kyun, bachpan me to tum to kehti thi ki bhaiya, aur pyar karo na. Bahut acha lag raha hai. Ab kya hua? “
Suddenly I felt dizzy as if I am in my past and saw a four-year-old me held by 13-year-old Kaku bhaiya sitting on the stairs. Bhaiya was pulling my white colored frock up and kissing me on my chest. I was happy. I remember bhaiya telling that this is how a brother loves his sister. I will love you even if your brother doesn’t love you. And I was happy that I got a caring brother. Though the memory was faint and distant, but the scene actually happened to me, I was very sure. For a second, i thought i was hallucinating. But no, after a moment, i could clearly see it happening in my subconscious mind’s eyes.
In the nick of the moment, my blood warned me to ooze through my veins and a sound blow came to his nose with my hard-hitting fist. He fell down on the stairs and I ran down within a single breath.
My parents- what happened Gudiya
Me- Kaku bhaiya sidi pe gir gaye. Unki naak se khoon aa raha hai.
I was relieved but haunted by the memory of what had happened to me when I was a four-year-old child. I couldn’t understand the difference between love and lust.
This is a true story and actually happened with someone very close to me. Stop blaming the victim on why she couldn’t speak the time it actually happened. There is a fixed time to things unfolding so stop branding the #MeToo victims cheaters or opportunists.
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